Lately the stanza that begins with these words from the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley has been staying with me. In the last 2-3 months my life has felt like it is in a shambles. I have gone from great joy and certainty to lows which I would not wish on my worst enemy. There have been numerous times where I had wanted to just give in, give up to the seemingly overwhelming stresses of my life.
Yet somehow, someway, I always have come through back into the light of day. Not that I have done anything spectacular to overcome, just that I have accepted the difficulties and waded through them. At times I have felt bludgeoned and bloody, but unbowed. I feel as if I have been blessed with the "unconquerable soul" spoken of in the poem.
I do not know what life holds for me in the future, and sometimes I feel like a ship tossed about on the ocean with tattered sails and splintered rudder. I have felt insignificant and invisible in the vastness of the world's population. I doubt that my life will ever make a significant difference in the events of the world, but it is my life, and it makes a difference to me. And perhaps that is the only truth that I need to know.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
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3 comments:
I feel badly because I never come and read things and so I have no clue that friends are in a low spot. I am so sorry.
I could say I was ill with what was probably bronchitis from Thanksgiving on. but that isn't excuse enough.
I hope you are doing better.
I have linked your blog in mine.
Hugs,
Noelie.
Thanks Noelie. Some days are just rough, but I get over it pretty quickly. :D
Glad to know there are folks out there who are concerned for others. I hope you are doing better also!
Wyo
I have gone through a long bought of PPD and it is slowly starting to lift.
I have to say the hope and rememberance of all I have and all I know has helped me endure the difficulty of self doubt.
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